I’m Not Crying, You Are | Check out the first music video that actually made me cry


It’s no secret that I’m a long-time music lover. I grew up in days of TRL and used to watch music videos on VH1 every morning as I was getting ready for school. MTV’s Making the Video was one of my favorite shows to watch (you know, back when they actually used to play music videos).

With that being said, I can honestly say that no music video has ever made me cry. Until yesterday. A friend of mine posted a link to a music video on her Facebook page yesterday, so I decided to check it out because Bastille & Marshmello, amiright?

This video legit made tears fall down my face. Take a minute to watch the video and then read on for some back story.

Ok, so now the back story.

I started working when I was 17. I got my first actual office job once I graduated from high school and the first thing I bought with my first decent paycheck was a puppy. We’d gone to visit a woman who bred Golden Retrievers and I fell in love with one (never mind the fact that my cell phone had fallen out of my bag right onto the head of one of the adorable little puppies and I felt like I had an obligation to choose that one because I’d probably caused some damage to its adorable little brain – update: I didn’t cause any damage). I know dog owners are biased and always claim to have the best dog ever, but we literally hit the jack pot with our Kayla. She was my first child and she was the absolute best. A year after we adopted Kayla, my niece was born and Kayla never left her side. Briana could climb on her and smack her in the face and tug at her tail, but Kayla never went in defense mode. Unless, that is, Briana tried to run into the street and Kayla ran up and nudged her in the butt to knock her down before she could get there.

We had 12 fantastic years with our Kayla before we found out that she was full of cancer and had to be put down. I will never forget sitting in the vet’s office watching my niece hold the paw of her first best friend. Kayla passed away 2 months before my father passed away from cancer that we didn’t know he had, so the whole time period was just an emotional roller coaster. Seeing this video made me think of the happiness Kayla brought to all of us. We’ve yet to find the nerve to adopt another one, but maybe someday we will! Here’s a pic of my first child, Kayla:






Hey, movie lovers!

I know I’m late to the game on this one, but I watched it last night with my niece and just had to post about it. To be quite honest, I’m surprised it has a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes! I can see how some people might not enjoy it as much as I did, but I wonder if the people who didn’t like it have experienced loss in their lives. From personal experience, I know how death can create these questions in your mind about love, time and death so the meaning behind the movie really hit me in the heart. My niece just loves any movie that can make her cry for some reason (teenagers!), but she loves this one!

SYNOPSIS: Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to Love, Time and Death. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty. 

Let me start by saying that Will Smith kills it in this movie. We all know he’s a great actor, but he hasn’t always chosen the best roles in his career. In this one though, he plays the role of a grieving father so perfectly that you can actually feel his pain. The entire cast does a great job, in my opinion. I found myself getting angry at his friends for scheming behind his back, then I felt sympathy for them because Howard’s grief has affected their lives as well. I think I felt every emotion imaginable while watching this movie and, for me, that’s a sign of a good one.

Every twist and turn in this movie was great and it’s not until the credits roll that everything sort of hits you all at once.

Usually when I see a new movie in the theater, or rent one on On Demand, I try to judge it based on whether or not I would actually buy it or possibly catch it again down the road when it’s streaming online. I rented this one last night and I would definitely buy it. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s one to at least check out. So grab a box of tissues and try to put yourself in this man’s shoes for about 2 hours.

If you forgot what this movie was about, check out the trailer below and if you decide to watch it, let me know what you thought!


Happy New Year!



I don’t think I have ever looked forward to a new year as I am right now.  Truly.  2015 has been pretty rough for my family, and I’m looking forward to starting fresh in 2016!

As some may know, I lost my first furry child (my beautiful Golden Retriever, Kayla) in March after 12 wonderful years.  She was the best pet anyone could ever ask for.  Sadly, two months later, my father passed away from cancer (which no one knew he had).

Something else happened in 2015 that I’m looking forward to moving on from.  Since I was 15 years old, I’ve had feelings for a certain person who I believed was a friend.  Sadly, a few years ago that person broke my heart to a million pieces.  I was raised to be a forgiving person, so I forgave them and went back to being friends.  Being there for them when they needed someone to boost their ego, making plans with them for me to visit and being pushed to the side with a million excuses when I was there, and unintentionally postponing my life because a long time ago, they asked me to wait for them.  This person got married this year and is now a father.  Now, in all honesty…I am happy for the life he’s created for himself and his new family, and I’ve been open to meeting someone new for a while now, but I can’t lie and say my heart doesn’t hurt to see it all.  In all these years, I maintained the feeling of wanting to remain friends, but I think I finally realized that we might not have ever truly been friends.  As much as that hurts to say…in order to start 2016 off right, it’s time to leave the heartache in the past.  I’m not getting any younger!  🙂

Instead of creating unrealistic resolutions for the new year, I’m making simple promises to myself.  To learn how to love myself again after some have torn me down (corny, I know), to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle for myself and my family, to focus on finishing school and to appreciate the people in my life more than I have in the past.  Losing people I love in the past 3 years has taught me to stop worrying so much and to just try to enjoy life.

So, I hope everyone has a great start to 2016, and make sure to check back in often!  I hope to keep up with my site and to create more original posts!