Chronicles of a Borderline Germaphobe

YoursTruly

Calling myself a full-blown germaphobe is a stretch, but I’m definitely borderline. I’m that person who can’t touch anything in public restrooms. I mean, why the hell would someone use the restroom, wash their hands, and then touch the door handle??? It’s disgusting! I’ve been in the restroom plenty of times to witness someone finish their business and then leave without washing their hands. Which means you have no idea how many others have now spread their nastiness on that measly little door handle. No, thank you!

We’re all aware that we’re experiencing a horrible flu season this year, which makes me extra paranoid about germs. If I’m out in public and someone coughs or sneezes, I head in the opposite direction. I love it when I’m out with my mother or my niece–who are the same exact way–and we give each other a look that says NOPE!! NOT TODAY!!

This leads me to germs at work–the motherload of all my germ issues. I even come home from work and disinfect my cell phone with a Clorox wipe. It’s that bad. About a week ago, someone at work started coughing and blamed it on the MILD winter we had here in Miami. After a full week of recycled paper clips circulating around the office, their persistent coughing throughout the day and their flitting about the office like they’re unaware of this flu epidemic, I decided to ask them what they have–strep throat. STREP THROAT!!! To make matters worse, they told me that their doctor instructed them to wear a mask so as not to spread the germs, but they refuse to “look silly” all day wearing it. There is no amount of Lysol that can cure the anger I have towards this total disregard for others. Why would you consciously come to work when there are people who can’t afford to get sick? The funny thing is that they actually complained about some of us spraying Lysol in the office because it makes them cough more. Sorry, lady. I am not giving up my Lysol spray until you stop hacking up a lung!

To those of you who are not self-proclaimed (borderline) germaphobes, please have consideration for those of us who are. If you’re sick and feel the need to tell everyone how sick you are, stay TF home!! I’ve been sick at work before and I stay at my desk with a can of Lysol and a fresh bottle of hand sanitizer. You know why? Because I have the decency to recognize that people have families and that some people get sicker than others. There is no need to spread around your germs when you could be taking PROPER steps to prevent it.

You have just read the Chronicles of a Borderline Germaphobe. Stay healthy, my friends!

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